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Vanilla Bean

Writer's picture: Simple thoughtsSimple thoughts

Updated: Jun 12, 2021


As I studied the lines in

the wooded ceiling above

my head, I thought of a simple statement,

so I reached for my notepad.


After unlocking my phone, I went straight

to the notes app. My eyes squinting from

the harsh light, I began to type away.


'Relationships are not for me. I was

never that eight year old dreaming

about my wedding. I had never given

thought about a wedding. Not because

I never wanted it, but I had other priorities

and dreams. Dating has never excited me.


Rather than feeling excitement, I feel nothing

but anxiety, fear and questions. Therefore,

I am content to be single the rest of my life.

Feeling relieved, I clicked done in the upper

corner and swiped away the notes app, put

away my device and went to sleep.


I have not had the best experiences

when it comes to relationships. Let me

lay out some examples to help you better

understand. From being dumped because

you will not kiss, being stalked, to guys simply

putting on a good show for a while.


After my most recent relationship,

I was convinced I was done. I told myself I would

never again take neither the time or dedication to

let anyone in. Why coach a player over and over

again if they keep making the same mistakes in the game

humiliating you? Why go through the exhaustion and

great disappointment?


A good friend told me I should

not be bitter because when relationships

are done God's way, they are amazing. I

looked into my good friend's eyes and

emptily asked, "How can I want something

I never had?'


In other words, your not going to crave

that vanilla bean Starbucks drink unless you

have tasted it and liked it. Therefore, it will

not bother you if you never try it.


God has opened my eyes to a lot recently.

First, it is unfair for us to make a generalized

statement purely based on opinion. How can

I claim there are no good Godly guys, when I

have not personally met all the men in the world?


If I made this claim, that would mean I would be

calling people like my dad and brother a liar,

because they are both in relationships. I know

hands down, these men love and serve selflessly.


Lastly, God designed marriage and he wants us to have it.

I know deep down, I have always wanted to get married. I want

to binge watch romance movies until 1a.m. cuddled with my spouse.


I want to do dirty yard work alongside my

husband. I want to encourage him after he has been let go

or when finances are tight. Most of all, I want my husband and

I to grow closer to God as one.


Key to Remember:

Sometimes a heartbreak or emotional week will be God's plan for us. He does not plan

for us to hurt, but He knows much growth will take place after that heart break.


Takeaway Q:

Are you willing to wait to meet that special person? Why or why not? Is your final answer through a Godly lens, or a worldly one?










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