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Fight or Flight

Writer's picture: Simple thoughtsSimple thoughts

Updated: Sep 4, 2024

I had never gone to the doctor so

many times. Though I could not quite

put my finger on it, I felt something

was not right.



My doctor suggested I get some lab

work done. I was not looking forward

to this. I was already a nervous wreck.

I have never done well with needles.


There is nothing else worse than

waiting, knowing you are about to

get blood work done. A man nearby

had just completed his labs and a

woman with him was making a huge

deal about it. Saying it was done

incorrectly, this did not help calm

my nerves. I then unintentionally saw

the 'supplies.' This is going to be

interesting I thought to myself.


The nurse advised me to the chair but

refusing to sit I informed her I needed

to lay down because I'd pass out. In

the past I have passed out on several

occasions due to lab work. In fact, the

doctors strongly suggested I never

donate blood because they take more.


After she gathered what she needed,

she then guided me to a room. I grew

more nervous. I did not want to do this,

but at this point, I was desperate to do

whatever I needed to get answers.


I laid down and she got me to tighten

my hand so she could see my veins,

something else I despise. I never looked.

As I laid there I just looked at the celling

and closed my eyes, praying I would not

begin to feel dizzy.


Next thing I knew, I began to feel weird.

At this point I knew whatever happened

next was out of my control. Even with my eyes

closed I felt abnormally dizzy, blurry vision and

felt as if a wave of hot and cold went through

my body.


I cant tell you what happened for the next

minute or so because I was out.


I remember waking up feeling so strange.

I felt so tired, as if I were just hit by a train.

I was so sleepy I couldnt open my eyes. I

heard many voices around me. When I opened

my eyes for a brief moment I saw a lot of

people around me. For a few seconds I did

not know where I was, or who I was.


I then realized I could not move a bone in

my body. I then felt my entire body so tight

and tense. My muscles everywhere were so

tight that it hurt. I just wanted to sleep so I

left my eyes closed. I was limp and couldn't

move. Of course amidst all of this my heart

was racing and my chest rising as it breathed

fast not knowing what was going on.


As I laid there I heard one nurse say that

she yelled for help when my eyes rolled

back in my head and my legs began to

jerk, shake. Someone then aggressively

began to place a lot of pressure on my

chest, trying to shake me to wake me up.

I heard them say my name but I was so

tired and couldn't move. I still could

barely open my eyes. The times I did,

it was catatonic.


They then began to wave something

under my nose to wake me up, but I

still felt out of it even though I could hear.


My arms, from my elbows down, I could not

move them. My legs, from my knees down

to my feet I couldn't move them. I felt the

tightness everywhere. The doctors couldnt

even move my left arm down from where it

drew up to my chest. They also couldn't

straighten my feet either because everything

was frozen up. It all stayed like this for what

felt like a long time.


The entire time, my doctor was beside me.

She tried to comfort me and I could tell

she was worried. She got an ambulance to

come get me and take me to the ER. When

the EMT people arrived they were quite

kind and funny. They lifted my limp body off

the table and on to a stretcher. I knew I was

probably as pale as a ghost and my limbs still

felt tight. I did not want to try to move yet.


I had never been in an ambulance before.

I would have been nervous and scared but

I was so sleepy and tired, it is almost as if

I didn't contain the energy to feel anything

else.


The men in the ambulance made me laugh

and always told me what they were doing.

One kept ensuring I took deep breathes

and maintained eye contact with him. I

arrived at the ER and they did more tests.

Several special people came to see me. The

first voice I heard was my grandmother's.

Though her and I are not as close as we

used to be, it was comforting to hear her.


My pastor then came by, my aunt and

soon my boyfriend, Michael. When I saw

him, I felt instantly comforted. They did a

CT scan of my head and an x-ray of my chest.

They had given me oxygen in the ambulance

in my nose. They had to give me an IV, which

I wasn't crazy about, especially considering

everything I just went through but I was okay.

They eventually took more blood through the

IV but luckily gave me a sedative so it didn't

bother me. Every now and then when the

pressure would squeeze around my arm to

check my blood pressure, my hands still

began to ball and tighten up.


This was definately one of the scariest things

that had happened to me. When you lose

control of your body, it is not a good feeling.

My flight or fight response was definitely

activated. Michael stayed with me the rest

of my time there, took me home, and stayed

with me for a bit. I was very happy he was

with me.


The next two days, luckily it was the weekend

but I felt absolutely exhausted. My legs (calves)

were sore as well as my back. I literally laid down

all day, trying to rest. I could not fall asleep. I was

too sleepy to read or even watch TV. The next day

or so I felt better but occasionally had a headache.


I felt it took me a whole week to really get back

to myself. The doctors told me I definitely had

a seizure. Another doctor agreed but also said

he felt this was a vasovagal syncope response.

Whatever it was, I hope it doesn't happen again.

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