Mourning the Living

Would you believe me if I told you, it was possible

to mourn someone who is alive. It is. If you haven't

faced this, at some point you will.

The official definition of 'grief,' is deep sorrow,

typically, as a result of someone's death. There

is an abundance of emotions intertwined with

this term. There is sadness, anger, despair, guilt,

confusion, disbelief, fear and anxiety.

However, I think the original definition of grief

is missing something major. Grief does not only

apply to the deceased, but the living too. Allow

me to explain. Someone can be alive, but not

truly living. This can be because of a horrific

accident, leaving them in a coma or worst of all,

shape shifting into a person you no longer

recognize.

This brings agony to loved ones, as we

do not know how to move forward. We

know things will never be like before, but

we don't know the future will hold either.

As a result, we remain stuck.

You find yourself recalling old memories,

wishing you could bring them back. You look

at that person and no longer recognize them.

Though they are your blood, you feel as if

they are now a stranger. Sometimes people

choose a change, while others do not. Regardless,

both outcomes are incredibly painful.

You close your eyes, wishing they'd come

back. You force your mind to cope by

ignoring all the negative emotions and feelings.

You do this hoping those feelings will go

away. They might subside for a few minutes,

but they always find a way to resurface.

You then begin to blame yourself and

ask, "What could I have done differently?",

"What could I have done better?". You then

try to find that moment that forever changed

them. You play it out in your head, wishing

you could manipulate reality, changing the

outcome.

The worst part of it all, is being faced to

making a decision. Based on the situation,

you either cling to everything you know

and believe or you let it go. Unfortunately,

we cannot choose both. We must be willing

to let the old person go and accept the new.

This is the part we dread because we know

us doing this, opens the floodgates of emotions.

We cannot move on, unless we face all the pain

and hurt head on. This is the part we work diligently

to put off. It is a coping mechanism to protect

ourselves.

Therefore, it is possible to mourn the living.

At the end of the day, the only thing we can

cling to is faith. I don't think it's wrong to hurt.

I think it's wrong to point fingers at others.

Blaming others does not change anything. The

only thing that can change is your perspective

and attitude.

Whether you feel God or not, He is

right beside you. If you are weeping in

your bed alone at night, He is lying beside

you. If you're sitting in a hospital room, so

is He. Wherever you are, He is there.

Do not give up friend.