It Wasn't meant to be

It has been over two years. Two

years since I allowed myself to feel.

My heart and emotions had been

bulldozed too many times. After the

last heart break, my heart was

practically molded over with cement.

I allowed my pride to be determined

nobody would be able to get through.

Until you came along. You did everything

right. To my amazement, feelings began

to take root even when I did not

want to admit it.

For the first time in my life, I

saw the possiblity of a future

with you. I have a rough past

with men that you are unaware

of and will probably never know.

No man has ever treated me the

way you did. The way you looked into

my eyes made me feel so beautiful.

The way you put me first and served me.

The way you gently held my hand and

brushed my hair out of my face. You studied

the little things.

It saddens me because you see yourself

in poor lighting. You have a lot to offer.

I do not know if you pulled out so quickly

because you feel you do not deserve good

or if you had the wrong motives. Regardless

of the truth, you are still a good man.

I have not deleted any remnants of

you or our history. Yet, it feels as if

you have completely cleared me

from all of your browsing data.

You were quick to remove me from

your social, though she has been on

it for years.

I still feel it is unfair how quickly

things ended. There is still so much

more to be discovered. You can not

fully get to know someone within

only 21 days.

Luckily I have learned my lesson from

many before you. This time I did not

walk away with a broken heart. Though

I did not leave with a broken heart does

not mean it I left pain free. I felt it alright

and it hurt. Like you had once told me,

I was emotional with you.

I thought you flipped my world upside

down when you entered my life, but

you did that when you walked out.

Though I miss you, I know it is for

the best. I am not filled with anger

or bitterness. If anything, a sad heart

and frustration. It is unbearable to

decipher between the words 'peace'

and 'feelings.'

I still ponder on whether or not

you are who you say you are. I

find myself asking what the true

motives were. Regardless, I have no

regrets. I'd do it all again.

I truly appreciated your consistency,

gentleness and understanding spirit.

You made me feel so special and respected.

In the short amount of time, your dedication

and persistence was beyond unfathomable.

I pray that you find what you are

looking for. I pray that God will

continue to work in your life. I also hope

you can move on from your past. It is

impossible to move forward while you

constantly relive your past.

I have a lot of people who are counting

on me. I must be fully available for them

emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Therefore, this is my final farewell to you.

You are an incredible individual and will

accomplish many great things. I had once

wondered if you were the one. Now I know

you are not.

I guess it just wasn't meant

to be.