I have never been one to meditate on
what my wedding day will be like.
I have never been the girl who talks
about what her brides maids will wear
on my big day.
The truth is, when I look into my
future, it would not be ruined if
in fact, I were to never get married.
I am not bitter at love or those
in love. In fact, I love love! I enjoy
watching romance movies, where
prince charming sweeps her off
her feet. I enjoy seeing couples
hold hands.
I am not sure if I feel this way
because of my past negative
experience or due to the fact
I am not that kind of person.
I do remember each time I was in
a relationship, sure it was fun.
However, I remember my anxiety
would eat me up. I remember I would
grow jealous. I remember the intense
feelings of temptations and being
destroyed by them. I recall myself
thinking about that person all the
time.
It consumed me. Furthermore, it pulled
me away from what I loved most.
Christ and my family. I am not saying
if you are in a relationship, it is taking you
away from God, if you are saved. Nor am
I saying I am destined to be single
forever.
I can see myself with someone,
but not just anyone. If there is someone
out there for me, he needs to have morals.
High standards, treat me like I am worth
something, make me laugh and help me
grow closer to God.
The one thing I can say I have wanted
for a while is to have a big family. I can easily
see myself one day, with a lot of kids.
Some adopted and some of my own.
I was never the one to dream of my
wedding at a young age, but I do
know I dream of one day having a
family of my own.
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