If the Time is Right.

I have never been one to meditate on

what my wedding day will be like.

I have never been the girl who talks

about what her brides maids will wear

on my big day.

The truth is, when I look into my

future, it would not be ruined if

in fact, I were to never get married.

I am not bitter at love or those

in love. In fact, I love love! I enjoy

watching romance movies, where

prince charming sweeps her off

her feet. I enjoy seeing couples

hold hands.

I am not sure if I feel this way

because of my past negative

experience or due to the fact

I am not that kind of person.

I do remember each time I was in

a relationship, sure it was fun.

However, I remember my anxiety

would eat me up. I remember I would

grow jealous. I remember the intense

feelings of temptations and being

destroyed by them. I recall myself

thinking about that person all the

time.

It consumed me. Furthermore, it pulled

me away from what I loved most.

Christ and my family. I am not saying

if you are in a relationship, it is taking you

away from God, if you are saved. Nor am

I saying I am destined to be single

forever.

I can see myself with someone,

but not just anyone. If there is someone

out there for me, he needs to have morals.

High standards, treat me like I am worth

something, make me laugh and help me

grow closer to God.

The one thing I can say I have wanted

for a while is to have a big family. I can easily

see myself one day, with a lot of kids.

Some adopted and some of my own.

I was never the one to dream of my

wedding at a young age, but I do

know I dream of one day having a

family of my own.