In my early years, in middle school,
I constantly desired to find 'the one.'
I thought I was ready, but looking
back now, I was nowhere near
ready.
The truth is, I don't think we are
ever ready for 'that person.' The
right, one will catch you off guard.
Then things will hit you as a couple
that are both hard and easy, that
neither of you were expecting.
Therefore, I don't think anyone reaches
the point to where they are 'ready.'
Marriage can be scary, life changing.
It is a commitment and a responsibility.
However, as I have observed beautiful,
healthy and long-lasting marriages, it seems
to be one of the most beautiful things this
life has to offer.
Future husband, whoever you are,
wherever you are, I just want you to
know a few things about me. I have
been through a lot. I have grown a
lot in my faith but this was not always
a pleasant process. I am sure if you
call yourself a believer, you will have
had moments like this as well.
When I was younger, I once prayed
for you every single day for years. I
eventually stopped though because
I gave up. I grew tired of disappointment.
I became worn down after all of my relationships
never worked out only resulting in a broken
heart.
I have gone through a variety of phases.
Some phases I admired and hungered for
a serious relationship. Other times, I despised
men and were even terrified of them at one time.
I have experienced trauma from an unstable
young man that forever changed me. Maybe
one day I will tell you more.
I have gotten to know numerous guys. All
claimed they were good, loved me and that
they were a believer. Looking back, I am not
so much convinced as I once was.
Whenever the time is right, I know it
will be special. I think we will both feel it.
I once thought I was better off alone. I can
see now this was never true. It was because
I was not with the right person. The right
kind of magnets will stick but the wrong
ones will repel one another.
God has used every relationship to
teach me. He has also utilized them to
help me grow closer to God and help
me pinpoint not only what I want, but
what I need.
I don't think marriage is about finding that
'perfect' person. There is nobody that is
perfect, except for one individual. Marriage
is about becoming the person you want to
be with before you meet them.
A huge lesson I learned in regard to
preparing for marriage is the ability to
see and observes. For example, there
is a vast difference between an honest
mistake and addiction. I have regretfully
dismissed addictions in the past when I
should not have. You never get permission
to make poor choices. Any addiction is a
heart problem and you are not ready for
a relationship.
Future husband, I do not know if we have
met yet, but I hope you know that I have
waited decades for you. I didn't stop giving
up that you were out there. I have diligently
prayed for you as well as prepared myself
for you.
Whenever you really get to know me,
you will know that I will adore you with every
fiber in my body. I will remain loyal to you
until my heart stops beating. I will do anything
for you, please don't use this against me or
abuse this. I will love you the way I love myself,
just as scripture commands.
I look forward to the day we say our vows.
I will know you are the one when you do
not try to change anything about me.
You won't try to change my hair, what music
I listen to, what version of the bible I read,
my passions and desires and whether or not
you approve of my scars or not. For my
husband will accept me for who I am. He will
appreciate the good and the bad.
I pray we can be more than just lovers
and partners. I hope we can be best friends
and make one another laugh. Be there for
one another in the exciting moments and
the sad. I hope you can help me grow
closer to God daily.
I used to think of lowering my standards.
Many times, I did. This only led to
disappointment and heartbreak. I finally
learned that standards are a sign of faith
and maturity. Lowering standards and compromise
is the result of impatience. Someone once told
me the right one is worth the wait.
Satan used many excises to try to convince
me that I am better off alone. Examples such
as the fear of being left and divorce as well
as there is no such thing as a good man. These
are all lies from the devil.
So dear future husband, whoever you are,
know that I am your number one fan. Know that
I will always be by your side through the thick
and thin. Know that you have found a diamond in
the rough, because I now know what
all I deserve.
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