Before You.

My life was good. Sure, it had its ups

and downs, but whose life doesn't?

I had an abundance to be grateful for.

I had a roof over my head, parents

who love me and an amazing community.

I quickly got comfortable in my 'new'

way of living. My day was diligently

planned with a set schedule. This

consisted of laundry, baking, reading

and move watching. Of course, it also

entailed occasional errands and fun

activities.

It took time but I found my peace,

joy and identity in my relationship

with Christ. Therefore, I didn't think

my life could have gotten any better.

Then I met you and everything changed.

From the moment I first saw you,

you were a breath of fresh air. Your

character, actions and poise astonished

me. I had no idea that you would

eventually become my whole world.

Though everything seemed good and

different, I was still very unsure. I wasn't

expecting anything at all. I assumed

whatever it was, would quickly fade. I

unintentionally formed a false prejudice

against you. For at this point in my life,

it became my second nature.

However, things began to change the

more we did activities together. Even

though I picked up on your pure character,

intentionality and genuineness, I assumed it

would fade, it always does.

It didn't take long for my mindset

to change. It feels incredibly freeing

being with you. I have an unexplainable

joy and happiness whenever your around.

Before I knew it, I began falling for you. I

adore everything about you, from how

every item in your home has its own

designated place, to how you even

put your shoes on. Rather than just slipping them on like

myself, you always take the time to re-lace them.

You cherish and appreciate everything

in life, even the little things. You study

my expressions and tell me things

about myself I didn't even know. I love

how anytime you get excited or passionate

you slightly raise your eyebrows and

voice as you speak. Anytime I hear

your name, it is a symphony to

my ears.

For so long I didn't think I could

I convinced myself it would be too

complicated, especially with my health.

For I knew I wouldn't be able to give as

much as I'd want to. I failed to see how

I'd be able to care for anyone when

there are some days I can't even

care for myself.

Yet you make me feel like I can do

anything. I no longer see myself as

someone who is 'sick.' For I have

never felt healthier and more alive.

Even the former treatment I received

from professionals wasn't as near

as effective compared to how you

make me feel. You are the best antidote.

You don't overstimulate me you soothe me.

You don't critique my inabilities. You applaud

my abilities. You do not realize the calm

atmosphere that always accompanies you.

You see me as a person, not a burden.

You never make me anxious but enthusiastic

and energetic. You haven't given me any reason

to be fearful but rather, hopeful. You don't view

me as broken but whole, complete and perfect

the way I am. My insecurities seem to have

gotten lost after meeting you.

You never grow annoyed or frustrated

at my imperfections and weaknesses. Rather,

you strengthen and nurture them. Things

that never made sense before, all of a

sudden do now. My entire life I felt as if

I were missing a couple of puzzle pieces

but now they have been found.